it was a war
by MissingMommy
Summary: This isn't their end. It's their beginning. :: pre-Seamus/Lavender.


For Nina and her muse, from Harry and Clara.

.

Lavender walks into her Muggle Studies classroom. It's more like "Muggles are animals" than it is anything else. She's running slightly late, as a Slytherin decided to charm a tear in her bag, but she's relieved when she notices that she is not late.

Alecto Carrow, a stern woman with murderous eyes, descends from her office and stands in front of the board. Her eyes lock on Lavender and she grins twistedly, causing Lavender to shiver. "You're late. Do you remember what –"

Before Alecto can continue, Seamus stands up from his seat in the second row. He places both hands on the desk. "She's not late. Class hadn't started by the time she was here," he argues.

Lavender watches as Alecto draws her wand. She walks – nearly glides – towards Seamus. Her grin turns into a smirk as she runs the tip of her wand down the side of Seamus' cheek. "She's late if I say she is," she purrs.

The sound of Alecto's voice sends chills down Lavender's back.

"No she's not," Seamus growls.

Alecto tsks. "You'll serve her detention, then, if you're so adamant about her not being late, Mr. Finnigan," she whispers sweetly. "You'll learn soon enough that bravery is stupid." She turns toward Lavender and barks, "Take a seat, Miss Brown. Next time you won't get out of a detention."

Lavender scrambles to her desk as Alecto takes a seat at hers. Seamus chances a glance back. She mouths, "Thank you," to him, and he just nods.

.

She's been sitting in the only armchair that faces the Common Room's door for hours. Most of the students have gone up to bed already, and the fire has all but died away. Her eyes have been glued to the entrance, waiting for him to come back. She's been judging time by the number of chimes the clock does.

It's well after midnight before the portrait to the Common Room swings open. The figure stumbles forward clumsily, pushing off from the wall. She doesn't have to see his face to know it's Seamus. Lavender stands, and moves to help.

"Lavender," he says, his voice hoarse; probably from screaming. But she doesn't mention it. "What are you doing up so late?"

She wants to laugh. Instead, she chooses to slip her arm around his waist, letting him lean against her as they walk to the couch. "What else would I be doing besides waiting for you?" she asks.

After she helps him sit, she finally looks at him. The dying light only intensifies the swollen, red cheek. His left eye is swollen shut as well. She knows that the bruises are going to be more predominant tomorrow. But despite everything, he grins. "It's nothing new," he reassures her.

She ignores the comment as she picks up her wand from the table, where she had long since left it. She may not be the best at healing spells, but she is good enough to make the discoloration disappear and the swelling fade slightly. "You're going to want Fay to look at it in the morning," she whispers as she finishes all she can do.

"Thanks," he replies. He doesn't move from where he's at. He watches the fire slowly burn down.

"I'm sorry," she blurts out.

He turns his attention on her, observing her. "It's not your fault," he answers.

She shakes her head, causing her dirty blonde curls to swing. "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gotten into this mess."

There's a long pause. "No," he finally says. "If it wasn't for the Carrows, I wouldn't have gotten into this. What they are doing is wrong, Lavender. And I'm not going to take it lying down. Especially not when they bully my friends."

"All you're going to do is get hurt doing that," Lavender counters. She closes her eyes to keep the tears from falling. She's not sure when she started caring about him this much, but she doesn't like when he comes back from detentions, worse for wear.

"Is that what you're worried about?" Seamus asks. When she nods, he continues on, "I would rather be hurt than to let them hurt you."

"I'm not worth getting tortured over," she says.

He gives her a disbelieving look and shakes his head. "Of course you are."

She opens her mouth to say something, but the tears that she's been trying to hold back falls instead. He just sits beside her. And that's comfort enough. In the morning, both of them act as if the conversation never happened.

.

It becomes a routine – her waiting for him to get out of detention. Even after they take refuge in the Room of Requirement. There's a part of her that needs to know that they didn't kill him or leave him incapacitated.

He comes back from a particularly grueling detention. She hadn't seen him in nearly two days before he comes stumbling through the doors. She and Parvati catch him before he crashes into the floor.

"What happened to you this time?" she asks aloud, her voice soft and scared. His face is discolored and his eye is swollen.

"'m sore," he mumbles.

Parvati looks at Lavender. "I'll go see if Fay can come look him over," she says. She pats Lavender's shoulder before she turns and walks deeper into the Room.

"You really need to stop this," she scolds him. "They are going to kill you one of these times."

He doesn't have time to respond as Fay comes over. Lavender steps back a little bit to give the other girl room to work. It takes a while, but Fay finally moves back, whipping her brow. "He'll be alright. I healed his fractured wrist. He's just tired and will have a headache in the morning. Just let him rest."

"Thanks, Fay," Lavender murmurs. "Why do you do this to yourself?" she questions, looking down at him.

He grins at her tiredly. "Didn't I tell you last time you asked? I don't like it when they bully people I care about."

Lavender rolls her eyes. "You don't need to be a martyr, Seamus," she informs him. "We can handle ourselves."

Seamus snorts. "I never said you couldn't. I don't want you to."

.

The halls are alight with passion, with feelings, with _life_ for the first time in months. There's adrenaline pumping through everyone's veins. This is the day that they are going to fight. This is going to end, one way or another.

Lavender follows behind Seamus and Dean – Merlin, it's the first time in months that she's seen him – with Parvati at her side. They are marching on the Great Hall, to defend it.

As she's sending out curses, she feels alive. That feeling is short-lived as she is crushed to the ground. White-hot pain floods her cheek, her chest, her side. She screams out in agony. And she doesn't know if anyone can hear her.

It takes a while, but she eventually passes out from pain.

.

When she opens her eyes again, all she sees is white. It takes a few moments for her eyes to focus, but when they do, she realizes that she's in the Hospital Wing. She tries to sit up. Pain explodes through her body, cause her to cry out.

"Lavender!" she hears. A hand presses against her shoulders, forcing her back down. "Don't move. It's only going to hurt."

"Seamus?" she questions. He nods, and she stops fighting. Her memory floods her mind. "The last thing I remember is –"

"He's dead," he cuts across. "Professor Trelawney dropped a crystal ball upon his head from several stories above. A part of it stabbed into his brain."

She turns to look at Seamus. "He…" she starts off, her voice shaking, "he started clawing me."

There's sadness in Seamus' voice as he whispers, "I know."

"It's going to scar, isn't it?" As much as she doesn't want to know the answer, she asks anyways – that's what it means to be a Gryffindor.

The chair he pulls closer scraps against the floor, loudly. "Probably. It was near a full moon, so Madam Pomfrey doesn't know if it was infectious or not."

"Are you telling me…I could be a werewolf?"

The silence is enough of a confirmation. Tears leak out of her eyes. She turns away from Seamus in shame.

Seamus tries to take her hand, but she shrugs hers away. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

It causes her to laugh humorously. "What are you sorry for?"

"I should've been there to protect you," he replies.

She turns to face him. There's honesty and sorrow written on his face. "There was no way that you could've done anything different. That was war. There are always causalities. You can't save them all."

He shakes his head. "I didn't want to save them all," he assures her. "Only you."

She furrows her eyebrows, only to cry out in pain. "What are you talking about?" she asks softly.

"Seeing what Greyback had done to you only made me realize how foolish I was. I could've lost you today without," he pauses. After a few moments, he starts again. "I'm bad at this. What I'm trying to say is that I wanted to protect you because I care about you more than just friends."

Lavender sits shocks. His eyes are begging her for a response, but she's finding it difficult to find the right words. She remembers the need to make sure he was okay. She remembers wondering what she was feeling towards him because it wasn't just friendly.

But Greyback tore her to shreds. And it's going to take time to fix it. To help her deal with everything that will come with this terrible nightmare. She isn't going to put that into a relationship.

"Maybe someday," she whispers. "But right now, we both need to heal."

He nods understandingly. She isn't saying no. So he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead.

**A/n – so many thanks for Laura for looking over this and Amber for letting me use her as a wall to throw ideas at.**


End file.
